I still don't understand why you do what you do...

These are words I hear from people not in the industry.

I never wanted to be a fireman or a cop. I never wanted to work in an office. I never wanted to be a teacher. I'm ill-suited for normalacy, but I'm also not interested in being a rock star or an actor or even a circus performer--though I did dabbblewith the idea of being a professional race car driver, which is the same thing, only different.

My career of choice?

Writer.

But not of books or poems or like being a journalist. No, I've always wanted to be a filmmaker.

And like eveyone else in Hollywood, I dream of fame and fortune--heavy on the fortune.

It's a tough gig.

Most of my friends have "real" jobs. They work in offices as newswriters, as real estate sales people, as yoga instructors. They work pretty regular hours and they have money in the bank.

Me? I'm still struggling...

I started this blog because I needed an outlet for my self doubt, my fear of failure, my cry in the dark. Hmmmmmm...Maybe I'm insecure enough to be an actor after all. No, deep down inside I know I'm not pretty enough to be George Clooney and I'm too pretty to have a film career like Harry Dean Stanton...

Filmmaker it is then.